The Matrix Spoof
by Bradster2009
Summary: Please read!
1. Default Chapter

The Matrix Spoof.  
  
*Starts off where Neo goes to see the Oracle.*  
  
(Spoon boy is bending a rubber chicken with his mind)  
  
Spoon boy: Do not try to bend the chicken. That is impossible. Only try to realize the truth.  
  
Neo: Which is?  
  
Spoon boy: There is no chicken.  
  
Neo: That's stupid! *imitating spoon boy* There is no chicken.  
  
Lady: She will see you now.  
  
Oracle: Hello Neo. Oh, Don't worry about the lightbulb.  
  
Neo: What lightbulb?  
  
Oracle:The one you just broke.  
  
Neo: I didn't break anything.  
  
Oracle: I'm the Oracle god dammit. Don't tell me I am wrong.  
  
Neo: But I didn't break it.  
  
Oracle:GET OUT!!  
  
Neo:Fine!  
  
*Neo leaves*  
  
Morphues: What she said to you keep to yourself. OK?  
  
Neo: OK.  
  
Morphues: So what did she say?  
  
*Neo Stares at him*  
  
*Cut to Neo, Trinity, and Morphues getting out of the car.*  
  
*Everyone starts heading up the stairs. Neo sees a clown honk his nose. He turns around then looks back. He sees the clown honk his nose again.*  
  
Neo: Whoa! Dejavu.  
  
Trinity: What?  
  
Neo: I just had Dejavu.  
  
Trinity;That means a glitch in the system.  
  
Everyone: Oh No!  
  
*Mouse is in another room looking at the Girl in the read dress. His cell phone rings.*  
  
Tank: Get out of there. It's a trap  
  
Mouse: Oh shit.  
  
Mouse pulls out a bazooka*  
  
Mouse: bring it on!!!!!!!!!  
  
*He shoots the bazooka at the cops. Then he catches up with the other people.*  
  
Morphues: Lets hurry.  
  
~That's the end of the first chapter. I let mouse live because he was my favorite character.~ 


	2. Chapter 2

*cut to scene were Cypher just gets unplugged and is about to kill everyone.*  
  
Cypher: Die Tank die!!!!! Mwuhahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha*cough*  
  
*shoots electricity thing at tank. He missis*  
  
Tank:haha you missed. You suc. haha you suck. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha  
  
*While Tank was laughing his head off Dozer snuck up on Cypher and hit him n the head with a shovel.*  
  
Dozer: I'm going Postal!!!!!!  
  
(Postal is a computer game where you hit people with a shovel.)  
  
*Cut back to everyone waiting for phone to ring.*  
  
Apoc: Wasent I sposed to die right about now?  
  
Switch: Let me check. HEY WACHOWSKI BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WASEN'T APOC SPOSED TO DIE.  
  
Bradster2009: The Wachowski brothers are no more! I am the new director and I say everyone lives!  
  
Apoc:COOL!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
My friend gave me the idea for everyone to live. 


	3. Chapter 3

~I haven't updated in a long time! So I'm going to try and finish this story up.~  
  
After everyone has gotten out of the matrix Tank is about to unplug Morphues.  
  
Neo :You can't unplug him!  
  
Trinity: Neo is right!  
  
Tank: We have to. But before we do I have to give him one last kiss!  
  
He gives Morphues a long smooch.  
  
Everyone: Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Apoc, Switch, Mouse, and Dozer all fall over dead.  
  
Trinity: You killed them all Tank.  
  
Tank: Well sorry! I can't help it that I love Morphues!  
  
Neo: Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tank: I'm sorry Morphues.  
  
Neo: Wait! You can't kill him. I have the sudden urge to risk my life to save him!  
  
Trinity: So do I! Load us up Tank.  
  
*Construct*  
  
Tank: What do you need? Besides a miracle.  
  
Neo: Guns. Lots of guns, and a diet Dr. Pepper.  
  
Trinity: I'll take a Coke. Neo. What's with the thong?  
  
Neo: You like? I picked it out myself!  
  
*Goverment Lobby*  
  
Neo walks in and puts the bag in the Detector thing. Then he walks  
  
through the metal detector.  
  
metal detector: BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
guard:Please remove all metallic items you are carrying.  
  
Neo: It's probaly the metal plate in my head. But I'm going to kill you all anyway.  
  
He then proceeds to kill them all with a very wrong dance.  
  
Trinity walks in.  
  
Trinity: They're all dead! You said you'd leave me one!  
  
Neo: Sorry.  
  
All the swat guys come running out.   
  
Swat guy: FREEZE!!  
  
Neo opens the bag and pulls out a banjo. He then proceeds to kill everyone with  
  
the banjo. He then breaks it over a swat guy's head.   
  
Neo: Uh-Oh.  
  
He then rips his thong off.  
  
Swat Guys: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Our eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Neo and Trinity walk into the elevator.  
  
~ This chapter is dedicated to:  
  
evilgamefreak2000 for reviewing it even though I haden't updated it for over  
  
2 months!  
  
Eddie Wachowski's Chick for actually reviewing it!  
  
and Kralia for thinking that it is deadly serious, even though it's not.  
  
And I am going to send my evil amy of mutated white rabbits to  
  
Zaknafein47. Run like your life depends on it. Whick it does!!!!!  
  
Mwuhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix.  
  
Before we get on with the story, I'm gonna tell a joke.  
  
One day, a 4 year old and a 5 year old were talking.  
  
5 year old: I think it's about time we start to curse.  
  
4 year old: Yeah!  
  
5: Ok, When we go down for breakfest I'll say h*ll and you say A$$  
  
4: Ok.  
  
The boys go down for breakfest.  
  
Mom: Okay boys, what would you like for breakfest?  
  
5: Aww h*ll mom. I think I'll have cheerios.  
  
Mom: YOUNG MAN! GO TO YOUR ROOM! What would you like?  
  
4: Well, I don't know. But you can bet your A$$ it's not cheerios!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Neo and Trinity are in the elevator and Trinity is proceeding to Arm the bomb.  
  
Trinity: Now do I hit the red button or the blue button.  
  
Neo stops the elevator and lifts up the roof thingy.  
  
Neo: Will you hurry up!  
  
Trinity: Why are you telling me to go faster? Is it because you want my leather-clad  
  
body pressed up against your naked one?  
  
Neo: No. I'm no pervert!  
  
Trinity: I WANT YOU NEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Neo: What?  
  
Trinity: Nothing. Nothing at all.  
  
Trinity finally arms the bomb nd they do that thing were they go up the rope on the  
  
elevator.  
  
*On the roof.*  
  
Helicopter Person: We are being attacked. I repeat; being attacked.  
  
Suddenly, a bar appears out of no where and Neo does a provacitive dance. As you  
  
imagine, everyone falls over dead.  
  
Agent Idiotic then steps out of the helicopter.  
  
Trinity: Neo! Watch our!  
  
*Agent Idiotic shoots at Neo and he does the bullet-time thingy-ma-whopper.  
  
Agent Idiotic: Only elf.  
  
Neo: *cough*human*cough*  
  
Agent Idiotic: Oh right. Only human.  
  
Trinity: Dodge this.  
  
She shoots him and he does the electricity thingy-ma-whopper.  
  
Neo: Thanks Biatch.  
  
Trinity: How did you do that?  
  
Neo: What?   
  
Trinity: The bullet-time thingy-ma-whopper.  
  
Neo: I don't know. Can you fly that helicopter over there?  
  
Trinity:*On cellphone* Tank, I need a pilot program for a B23489276948625978638576  
  
helicopter.  
  
Tank: Comin' right up.  
  
Trinity's eyes flutter and she has a massive orgasm.  
  
Trinity: Let's go.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
This chapter is dedicated to my evil army of mutated white rabbits. Until next-time.  
  
This chapter was finished at exactly 5:29 PM 2/3/2004. 


End file.
